Sitting with Vulnerability

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Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light. – Brene Brown

In the past, when I would hear the word vulnerability I automatically would have thought of imperfection or a loss of power, a sign of weakness . I was told to watch a Ted Talk by Bene Browne regarding vulnerability, shame and guilt. For many of us its hard to admit we have these emotions and to come to terms with these feelings. The video really had a lasting impact on me and after having a conversation with family and friends felt propelled to write on this topic.

For the longest time I thought being vulnerable was something to be ashamed of. It had negative connotations and no room in my life. If I was in a vulnerable state than I was not being spiritual and I could not let that happen now—Was I ever wrong!

Vulnerability is being authentic, really honoring how and why you feel a certain way. If I admitted to being vulnerable, it meant that everyone would know I get insecure and a not miss positive pants. It was as if I was masking my true-self and was too afraid to explore what was really going on internally. I was more concerned about what would people say and think. The most important lesson I have learned is that its perfectly normal to feel these deep rooted emotions. Its a healing to allow them to surface, understand them and move forward one step at a time.

I now know that there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable. Its acceptance of what is happening in our present circumstances. Being vulnerable is a gateway to more. It means you are human. There will be times of fear, anguish and challenges however, once we admit to those feelings is when the dust settles. It will be scary and sometimes you will have to face the darkness you so want to avoid. Once we are open to being vulnerable balance is restored. A gleaming light will be exposed, your soul is lighter and you are ready to transcend.

It is empowering to to move forward after one understands what they are experiencing. Vulnerability is not a setback but a triumph the you are growing, sowing the seeds you have planted and searching for all that you deserve. My dear souls be vulnerable, and know that it is a process. You are evolving into the person you are meant to be. You are a masterpiece, Osho’s quote exemplify this so well, “Drop the idea of becoming someone, because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realize it. “ . You are unfolding into the grandest version of you!

What I have learned is that even though I have vulnerable points in life, its about seeing this a time of inner reflection and  rebirth.  It always comes back to self-love and self-care! Are you giving yourself enough time and attention? Loving oneself is the necessary ingredient to changing your circumstances and creating a chain reaction of blessings that are right at your doorstop!

You haven’t yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior’s way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability–to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I’ve shown you by example that a warrior’s life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love.   Love is a warrior’s sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death. –Dan Millman

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Eat, Pray, Love

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Imagine that the universe is a great spinning engine. You want to stay near the core of the thing – right in the hub of the wheel – not out at the edges where all the wild whirling takes place, where you can get frayed and crazy. The hub of calmness – that’s your heart. That’s where God lives within you. So stop looking for answers in the world. Just keep coming back to that center and you’ll always find peace. —Elizabeth Gilbert

Do you ever feel like your life resembles a movie? That you honestly relate to a particular character or story line? Eat, Pray, Love – I feel that this is how to describe my life in the last 15 years. I read Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s novel in 2008 and have watched the movie countless times. It is such an inspiring story about a woman rediscovering herself and creating her unique story. One thing for certain, the author kept on moving forward, she was determined to find answers but truly lived her life every step of the way. I recognize that my life has mirrored the novel–Eat, Pray, Love and here is my story!

Let us move straight to the topic of travelling and Italy = EAT! Truthfully, I must have been Italian in a past life. I’m actually Indian, however feel a deep connection to the culture, art and history of Italy. Rome has my heart and I have been to every Geleteria in that country. Similar to the author I savored every café, croissant and let’s not forget pizza, as if it was a piece of art. I could write a book on just experiencing the sensations of the food. Italians make their food with passion and eat each meal with such love and devotion. They don’t rush this process as preparing a meal is likes sharing your heart. The true essence of Italy is love–for the fashion, food, and Italian dialect. Every time I visit Italy it’s like the divine is talking to my spirit whispering be grateful, honor the soul and live. Similar to the author, I feel such a pull to Italy and truly feel that deep healing has happened while being in such a historic country.

Moving along to PRAY! Prayer is my lifeline. Every morning when I arise, I do my best to start the day with reflection and connect to the divine, universe and angels. The moment I wake up, prayers start flowing. I feel peaceful and comforted when I start the day this way. Prayer is communion with the higher power, it can be a simple request as “Please guide my day for my highest good and healing”. I truly sense that someone is listening. Connecting with silence on a daily basis can be life changing as stillness provides the answers to our questions. How I connect to PRAY like the author, is that this year I will be embarking on a journey to India with my family. It will be a trip of a lifetime and one that my soul is being guided towards. India is the key which will unlock the door to my soul. There is such an inner calling as if ancestral energy is propelling me there. The allure of sacred temples, the mystic Ganges River, ashrams, and yoga are the heart of India. There is no doubt in my mind that my soul is being compelled there for a higher purpose.

LOVE, can be a challenging topic. I have yet to unite with that soul who ignites a twin flame union. Similar to Elizabeth Gilbert, I have had valuable life experiences with relationships in order to evolve. Some relationships have been downright heartaches while others have been valuable lessons. I have entered relationships to fill a void, and this pattern has changed. It is essential to reflect on self-love daily, is the essence of our being. When you are in alignment and in love with yourself you will begin to radiate. You may not see this at first but the life force you omit is vibrant, it’s almost as if you exude a ray of light.

I was recently at an appointment with my Aestheticism Sara H, a young woman who is wise beyond her years. While at the appointment we were discussing relationships and love. It dawned upon that we may be years apart but have similar experiences as women. It was such an enriching exchange of stories and emotion. Love is special, I was reminded that one should never settle or give in when comes to matters of the heart. For every human being there is a sacred union for you. Please remember your worth and know that there is magic occurring on your behalf.

The path to healing, is never easy there is no express line for this! The author had to patiently walk through each experience with utmost faith, and face darkness in order to find the solace she was seeking. What I want to convey is that everyone has a story, and that all the puzzle pieces will fall together. You have to let go of the life you desired to create space for all that is coming your way. The hurdles you face are going to make your personal legend so meaningful. Relax, breathe and let go! Stop putting limits on yourself and be grateful for everything that has happened to you good or bad. We have to trust that our destiny is in the making, and when in doubt remember to Eat, Pray, and Love its the simplest remedy to life.

We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy’s fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure–your perfection–is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.
Elizabeth Gilbert

Broken Open

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You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.
Louise L. Hay

It was at the age of 21 when the foundations beneath her started shaking. Nothing like this ever happened before. Within the last year of University is when life got very real. The month was December; her grandmother had just passed away. She was in the midst of writing mid-terms, and on her way to a family wedding In Europe. She did not understand the implications of everything that was happening to her internally, until her body began to send her signs. All those events caused this soul to evaluate her life as she became broken open.

From the experiences in December, it caused upheavals to her mind, body and spirit. Things fell apart and needed to at that point in life. She was shattered into a million pieces. Fear and anxiety got a hold of her, and it felt like a lifelong sentence. This soul had to confront her past and make peace with it. She was quite good at pretending everything was fine and that nothing bothered her internally. It was now time to confront everything that she had avoided. It was essentially time to let go and walk forward.

What is anxiety? It is living in the past and not being centred in the totality of the present moment. Everything that happened to you is over now. I will not go into medical terms, physiological effects, or statistics; however there are many of us who have experienced these symptoms. You will rise from this and see the light, this I promise you. She had to stop carrying things inside her that were weighing her spirit down. Looking back she was holding onto experiences that were not serving her anymore. She had to set herself free like a bird, spread your wings and fly.

It is our birthright to uncover the soul—to remove the layers of fear or shame or apathy or cynicism that conceal it. —Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open

She labelled herself and within the mid-twenties decided to go on medication. It worked for a bit but that even took a toll on her body as she felt the side effects internally. It affected her stomach, sleeping patterns and things just didn’t feel right. By her thirties she went down in dosages, exercised regularly, began to mediate and take control. She began to rise after the storm and shine like the exuberant sun. Coming off medication was the best thing she did for her soul. She was wide awake, and felt every emotion that she needed to feel.

How did I stay grounded and centered during this shift? I dedicated my time to spiritual growth – this encompassed prayer, reading material on inspiration which directed me towards yoga. I became a certified yoga teacher in 2014 and knew that my purpose was to help others heal. Yoga elevated my spirit and I wanted to share this gift. I had to confront parts of myself that I did not want to. It was terrifying , however I felt the veil had been lifted. This was my life and I needed to find peace and surrender to the circumstances. Faith, family, friends and having a clean diet are elements that assisted to healing.

This is my personal story, and what I want to reiterate is that you will rise. You are not alone; everyone faces challenges at some point in their life. Understand your emotions, they are here to guide you and help you foster internal growth. Uncover the layers of yourself, reclaim your soul and never lose faith. Do not see any setback as a limitation, you are braver then you know and stronger for everything that has happen to you, bless you.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day

Oh, yes I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is that rainbow I’ve been praying for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day

–Jimmy Cliff